"I will be with you."

Well, here we are.  It has been a little over a week since I started the 90 day Bible reading challenge.  I have to be honest.  I haven't been completely consistent, and I only have excuses.  I had a few days where I was working and I got up early and went to bed late, so I didn't read.  So, I spent the last couple days reading a little extra, and I am currently only 1 day behind.  I want to be more consistent, but as long as I mostly stay on track, I am still making progress.  Plus, we do have grace days! What would we do if it wasn't for grace. Amen? *grins*

How are you doing on your reading?

Before I get into one of the bigger lessons I feel I've been learning,  I want to let you know what the next couple days look like for me.  Tomorrow, I am going to try to leave my house by 4 so I can get to the airport to leave by 6.  Guess where I am going? VIRGINIA! YAHOO! I was selected to be 1 of 45 people to go to Polyface Farm in Swoope VA for a two day working interview.  I will be flying Thursday and Sunday, and working Friday and Saturday. I would really appreciate your prayers.  I would love to be chosen for the 2015 summer internship, but there will be 44 other deserving people, and I want the Lord's will to be done.  Anyways, that's what the rest of my week looks like.  I will have a great chance to get some reading done on the airplane! Oh, and if you do a lot of commuting, I would recommend getting an audio Bible.  I was able to listen to the entire book of Leviticus while driving to and from work, and then while packing this evening. Moving on to another topic.

Here are some of the thoughts I had during one of my reading sessions.

"Then the Lord said to Jacob, 'Return to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.'"
Genesis 31:3

"Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed. He divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, thinking, 'If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape.' And Jacob said, 'O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’” Genesis 32:7-12

"I will be with you."
How often do we hear those words?

Here's a little context.
Jacob had fled to his relatives house to avoid his brother, who had threatened to kill him.  Jacob went to his uncles house and served seven years for the hand of the woman he loved, but was deceived into marrying her older sister.  He served another 7 years for the hand of the woman he loved.  He continued to serve, the entire time earning wages that were blessed by God, till he had more than his uncle.  God said to Jacob, "Return to the land of your fathers and to your relatives" and to top it off, He said "and I will be with you." Wow.

Sounds great, right? Well, Jacob was getting close to his hometown, and his brother heard he was coming, so he set out with a company to meet Jacob.  When Jacob heard his brother was coming, he was "greatly afraid and distressed." Now, I can understand why he was afraid, because his brother had threatened his life, but I guess he was forgetting one thing. God had said He would be with him.  Well, maybe he didn't forget altogether. The passage goes on to describe how Jacob pleaded to God, reminding Him that He had promised him that his offspring would be as many as the sand of the sea. 

Jacob sure seems to have mixed emotions.  He trusts God enough that he reminds Him of His promises, but he goes to lengths to protect himself from any harm that might befall him.

How often do I do the same? How often do I say, "Here Lord, I know I am supposed to trust you, and follow Your will, and I know that You have provided for me up to this point, but will you continue to provide for me after this moment?" Of course, I don't say those exact words, and I don't realize I have that sort of an attitude, but it's true.  I don't always trust God fully, and I don't always do what I know is right in His sight.  Praise God though, that He is always faithful, no matter how I waver. He is my solid rock in a pouring storm.  He is my haven on a stormy sea.  And He always draws me back into His loving arms where I am safe.

I guess, the biggest point I want to get across is that He is faithful in all things.  And I am happy to remind you (and myself) that, praise God, His love does not depends on what I do, but on His own perfect nature, and I can trust His perfect will for my life.

Learning to read the Word

In which the authoress learns to read...more.

I absolutely love reading.  Cracking open a new book. Smelling the pages. Feeling the smooth fresh paper beneath my fingers.  Even the feeling of finishing a book and seeing the crease down the middle of the spine can be nice.  Wanting to read the book again, or even just the last few chapters where all the ends get tied together in small bows or double knots.  Mystery, suspense, romance or history. So many options and so many delights can be found in reading.

I don't know about you, but I approach reading as either a leisure activity or a chore.  It is rarely looked at as anything in between in my eyes.  I'm either reading for fun because I am on vacation and have time or I am trying to relax, because I love a good book or I found the second book in a series. I read late into the night with a headlamp so I do not have to get out of bed and turn the light off because I can hardly wait to see how the next chapter will end.  Once I read an entire series in a single day, staying up until 3 AM because I really wanted to know how it ended.

Then there is the reading as a chore.  Mostly related to school, these books are educational and somewhat dry.  Sure, they can be interesting, but for the most part I would rather be reading the next chapter in that other book I am in the middle of reading, or sometimes I would just rather be washing dishes (yeah, I know, but I honestly enjoy washing dishes sometimes, even if you hear me say otherwise, because there are very few feelings like that of clean sink).  Basically, even if I enjoy it at times, for the most part, I don't really want to read it, not in large chunks anyways.  Thankfully, I'm often interested enough, or "know I need to read it" enough to actually plug away and get those 68 pages of nutrition information read. Whew, that was hard.

There is one book though, that I always have flip flop feelings about.  I am never bored by it, but I go back and forth between pleasure and pressure. Spare time and planned time.  What book is it you might ask? Well, I suppose I have a hard time admitting this, but it's my Bible.

I love opening my Hebrew-Greek NASB and thumbing through the tissue paper thin pages.  I love reading a chapter and seeing my old notes, or previously underlined or highlighted passages.  My Bible contains a little of everything: fully history, romance, wars, intrigue and suspense.  PLUS is contains the story of salvation, which makes it all the more precious to me.  So why my inner turmoil you ask? Well, I often look at my Bible reading time as a luxury.  There's nothing wrong with that mind you, because the fact that I have a large print Bible and a pocket sized Bible and a slim-line Bible IS a luxury.  I just sometimes look at my Bible reading as something to do when other work is done, not something that will get me through the day with less blow-ups and melt-downs.

I go through phases of reading a lot and then reading a lot less.  I get busy with other things and take less time for my Bible reading rather than taking the time to read my Bible and taking less time to be on Facebook.  Well, recently (meaning last night after reading a blog post about diving into the Word of God) I decided I need to read my Bible more.  I need to take the time I have and spend it in the Word instead of online.  In fact, I need to be more purposeful in how I spend all my time, whether it's time in the Word or time spent doing other things.  I often feel I do not have enough hours in the day, when in reality, I just squander my hours on other things ( a minute or ten on Facebook throughout the day adds up to an hour or two, which ends up being 1/12th of my day).  See what I mean?

With how sporadic my Bible reading can be, it gets even worse over the holidays, just because I get busy doing other things and I do not take time to read my Bible.  So I am purposing to be more purposeful in my Bible reading, starting today.  I am going to read through the Bible in 90 days or less, using a reading program by Zondervan that goes straight from Genesis to Revelation.  Not only am I going to be accountable to God, but to whoever reads this post and any successive posts.  I'm going to try to write every week about how far I have gotten and little things I am learning.

Bible reading is not a chore, it is a privilege to be taken very seriously.  A mixture of responsibility and pleasure.  A responsibility because it is a necessity in our walk with the Lord, to know Him better.  A pleasure because it is how we know our Savior better, a way to get to know Him better each day. It is the written Word of our God... think about that!

Anyone want to join me on this challenge?

Am I an Acorn?

I have been reading a book called Passion and Purity  by Elisabeth Elliot, and I have been challenged in so many ways.  I really liked a few of the passages I found, and I wish I had been taking more notes so I could share them without your having to read the book. Anyways, here is one portion that I thought was great.

We were being asked to trust, to leave the planning to God. God's ultimate plan was as far beyond our imaginings as the oak tree is from the acorn's imagination. The acorn does what it was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and why. We who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants the can be set against the divine Pattern for Good are asked to believe Him.  We are given the chance to trust Him when He says to us, "...if any man will let himself be lost for my sake, he will find his true self." 

When will we find it? we ask. The answer is, Trust ME. 

How will we find it?The answer again is, Trust ME. 

Why must I let myself be lost? we persist. The answer is, Look at the acorn and trust me.

It just made me think, and I decided I wanted to share.

Am I living my life trusting Him? I must ask myself this question daily.

Trust Him.

I Wait

I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high,
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow.
Is is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy Countenance.
I wait -
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

July 3 - Elisabeth Elliot

Thoughts on Desire

 

(The thoughts contained in this post stated last night when I couldn't sleep and were completed and corrected this morning when I was mostly awake.)

Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

I’ve always thought of this verse as meaning that, if we delight in the Lord, He will give us what our hearts desire. In church this morning my head and heart got a little jolt. The associate pastor made a comment during the benediction, and he basically said that when we delight in the Lord, our desires are from Him.

Do you ever find yourself needing to just stop and breath and pray for direction? I find that to be more and more the case as I attempt to draw closer and closer to God. Nowadays I find myself constantly needing to search my heart and ask myself if the desires I find there are sown in the soil of this earth, or rooted in the truth of His Word.

Sleep. It’s about that time of night. I lay in bed and pray over the things that happened today, things that were good or not so good. I pray for tomorrow. I pray for wisdom. My mind strayed to what Mr. Peppers said, and I started to pray over my desires.

Maybe it was the coffee I had 8 hours ago, or maybe it was just the need to put my thoughts into words, but I sit here typing this and looking at what others have to say on Psalm 37:4. I think that what Spurgeon had to say on the topic was so interesting:

Verse 4. There is an ascent in this third precept. He who was first bidden not to fret, was then commanded actively to trust, and now is told with holy desire to delight in God. Delight thyself also in the Lord. Make Jehovah the joy and rejoicing of thy spirit. Bad men delight in carnal objects; do not envy them if they are allowed to take their fill in such vain idols; look thou to thy better delight, and fill thyself to the full with thy more sublime portion. In a certain sense imitate the wicked; they delight in their portion—take care to delight in yours, and so far from envying you will pity them. There is no room for fretting if we remember that God is ours, but there is every incentive to sacred enjoyment of the most elevated and ecstatic kind. Every name, attribute, word, or deed of Jehovah, should be delightful to us, and in meditating thereon our soul should be as glad as is the epicure who feeds delicately with a profound relish for his dainties. And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. A pleasant duty is here rewarded with another pleasure. Men who delight in God desire or ask for nothing but what will please God; hence it is safe to give them carte blanche. Their will is subdued to God's will, and now they may have what they will. Our innermost desires are here meant, not our casual wishes; there are many things which nature might desire which grace would never permit us to ask for; these deep, prayerful, asking desires are those to which the promise is made.

When I delight in the Lord, my only true desire is to do my Fathers will. Everything in my life should be an effort to do the will of God, to give Him glory. I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I’ve always wondered how eating and drinking can bring glory to God, and I think I understand a little better now. When we weigh each action, seeking to bring glory to God, purposing to bring glory to God, each thing we do is specifically for Him. Of course, not everything we do will be glorifying, for we are humans and imperfect, but we can strive to glorify him.

As I was looking at Psalm 37 I noticed the beginning of the 7^thverse, which says “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” I had to stop and think. I am at a time in my life where I have a few things I really want. I’m getting to the age where most people start wondering when I’m going to get married, I mean, I don’t blame them, cause I had this subconscious expectation that I would be married by the time I turned 20 or something. I’m finding I need to be waiting patiently on the Lord.

The Olympics are over, but I must point out something that I (and pretty much most Christians that I’ve been talking to) found to be strange. The skiing half-pipe gold medalist is David Wise. David is 23 years old, is married, and has a little girl. The articles on him all say he is leading an “alternative lifestyle.” What in the world does that mean? The fact that he’s married? Married at 23? Has a kid that young? I realize that so many things have changed in this world since even the last 100 years. People used to get married “young” you guys! Young people were encouraged to take on responsibility, get jobs, get married at a young age. Maturity isn’t expected from 18-25 year olds like it used to be expected. It’s not strange to see a 22 year old that would rather play video games in an alternate reality than be out working and earning a living. (I think this is a little off track, but I do wonder why society thinks this way.)

Oh! I just remembered where I was going with that last thought. In Christian circles, we are expected to marry younger. Not that we are expected to get married at 16 or 17 and start a family right away (although many young Christian girls have this as a goal for some reason) but starting a family at 23 isn't an "alternative lifestyle" to a Christian. Or is it? The pressure from the other side is that the world does question your sanity when you get married any younger than, say 25, and having a kid before that?!? Don't you need to take that time as a young adult to enjoy yourself and have the freedom you were "meant" to have. Oh my lanta!? Seeing the difference in how the church as a whole views something and how the world views something always puts everything into a little better perspective. Anyways...

You ask how this all connects? Well, here’s what I think. We are told to delight in the Lord. When we delight in the Lord, the desires of our heart will become more fully aligned with His. When our wills are more fully aligned with our Father’s will, it becomes easy to “be still” and “wait patiently for Him.” When we are in His will and being patient and seeking to delight in Him, we can find ourselves doing all for the glory of God. Even eating and drinking is done for His glory because it sustains our lives so we can continue to serve Him.

I finish with the desire to know Him better, and the words on my lips saying “Father, Thy will be done.”

Soli Deo Gloria (To God Alone be the Glory)